Also Known As a Johnny Pump

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12:24 p.m.

We caught this coming home from a lovely autumn morning at the zoo. As an adult passerby, you may or may not notice the deluge flooding the busy street. Sure, you'll slow down on autopilot, but you may not fully recognize Why. On the other hand, a parent of a two-year-old, will come to a screeching halt, mesmerized, then lured by the open hydrant's gravitational pull. You'll find yourself skipping into a near run, and your voice will suddenly rise so many octaves to painfully match the dazzling F6 in Der Hölle Rache kocht in meinem Herzen, shouting an insanely obnoxious "gushing fire hydrant! gushing fire hydrant!" Your only saving grace will be if your two-year-old is actually with you. If not, you're so socially screwed.